El año de mierda
2019: the year of pumplexes, and plenty plenty more. This year has been an eye opener. Possibly, as hard as my nan's foot bottom. However, I've learnt a lot too. This year showed me my best friends, my best assets and that being badmind will catch up with you.
I have to be very honest with you, never in my life have I been so relieved to see the end of a year. Trying to locate when exactly this year went to shit is difficult honestly, as I feel with every step I made towards progress, I would be knocked two steps back. For the most part I dismissed it, but I have to admit, it has chipped at me little by little without me even realising. In the last quarter of this year I have most definitely cried, rolled my eyes, and said the word “cunt” more than you can imagine. Still, I’m grateful because with every setback there are lessons to be learnt. 2019 has taught me people are very mad, extremely rude, and you should most definitely do what makes you happy because this life is short.
So do you want me to get to the nitty gritty, tell you why I am so irritated if you didn’t know already. I am irritated that in big big 2019, misogynoir is well and thriving. It’s disgusting. I used to avoid certain conversations in fear I’d make people uncomfortable, but, I am past the point of caring anymore. I have watched too many underqualified people assume positions, get promotions, say controversial things and go unchallenged because the were either male or white. I had a manager complain to a colleague that he needed a break from the office because of all the women in it. Specifically, “it stinks of muff”. I can confirm our office never "stunk", he merely had to work alongside four women. It makes me sick. When reported to a senior member of staff, male, he said nothing and did what? Nothing. Do you know how many rooms I have sat in being the only woman, or more often the only black woman? Plenty. Do you know how many venues I’ve attended where the only other brown people were security or toilet attendants? Plenty. Are you aware of how many businesses I’ve entered whereby the majority of their managerial positions were taken by men? Too many. Yet the very topic of misogynoir, racism and discrimination to a large proportion of people is a myth. Look at Brexit please. YOUR rarseclart PM constantly looks disheveled, yet I can’t attend interviews with my hair in braids in fear I’ll be judged. K.
In 2020 I kindly request people to think outside of their own bubble. Be respectful and read a book or two. As @Melissaswardrobe says, “Do your Googles”, you will find plenty of people alike that are experiencing real struggle because of factors beyond their control, be it their colour or who they love. I’m over it.
My next piece of advice: Speak up/Walk Out! I have heard too many people complain about situations that can be changed by either speaking up or even walking out this year. It’s not easy, trust me. I am living it right now, but you cannot come and die for reckless people. There are plenty of people who love you, and will be there to support you. It is not everyday sit and suffer my G.
Finally for the best of the year I definitely succumb to obsessing over influencers bodies, apparent wealth, clothes etc. Not in the sense, I’m spending money to try to “keep up with the jones”, but, I have wondered why my journey must be so long. Influencers are there to influence and a lot of them aren’t really real about their struggles. They might be going to bed with a Prada pouch and Louis Vuitton bum bag in their wardrobe, yet the reality is they are miserable AF. Everything is in God’s time. It may not happen straight away, but you must keep pushing. Work a little harder and think a little less. Life isn’t chess. There isn’t a “Motherload” to this shit (My old school Sims players will understand). Sometimes shit takes time. Sometimes shit doesn’t even pay off. Sometimes shit, gets really really shit. Whichever it is, you will be okay. When you know who you are as a person, what you have to offer, you are able to remind yourself that what life deals you is not based on the individual. Although, if it was, boyyyyyyyy, I know certain people would be fucked.